Milwaukee Film Festival- Madeline's Madeline

Volatile is the word I'd use when describing the title character in Madeline's Madeline, which I saw last night at the Milwaukee Film Festival. Madeline, a teenager, has a volatile relationship with her mother, who seems overwhelmed by Madeline's shifting personality. At times, Madeline can be loving, but then she'll be provoked into throwing a soda at her mother. 

Madeline finds a release (and also some danger) in a performance art troupe. She takes to the Evangeline, the group's leader, and seems to find a relationship more natural than the one she has with her mother. The group is seeking a theme for its new performance, and her relationship with Evangeline grows more complicated when Evangeline uses information Madeline shares as inspiration for new scenes.

I was worried when the film began, because I've never been one for performance art or abstract films. My fears were put to rest quickly, as Madeline's Madeline turns out not to be an abstract film, nor is the performance art the central focus. The central focus is what the world seems like to Madeline. The picture often blurs and the sound cuts in and out as the film takes the audience through life as experienced through this troubled teenage girl.

The only word I can really use to describe Madeline's Madeline is unnerving. Although I had gut reactions to characters, I never could form strong judgments, as everyone is shown to have strong attributes and flaws. At the beginning, Evangeline seems like a godsend to Madeline, but over time her instinct for making a good show leads her to make seemingly manipulative decisions. The film also shows her as just plain overwhelmed. Madeline is clearly traumatized about events in her past, but places some trust in Evangeline as events from the past play out with the troupe.

Madeline's Madeline didn't really let me exhale until the end, and I think the rest of the audience felt the same way.

Happiness Is...

Lately I've been pondering happiness. Not my happiness, really, but happiness in general. Happiness can be so fragile, and what combination of things makes one happy? 


Wait, let's back up a second. Things don't make people happy, do they? I've never been a person who had to have the hot item or the newest gadget. Commercials make it seem like having the latest phone can lead to euphoria, or drinking a Diet Coke can lead me to break out dancing (which no one wants to see). I do believe that for each person, there are material goods that can enhance contentment. If I have a hobby, something related can lift my spirits for a bit. I'm a huge baseball fan, and being able to listen to any game makes me relax, so I have a subscription for the MLB At-Bat app.


I remember being a kid and thinking that Christmas morning would be so great. Gifts under a tree, gifts, gifts, gifts for me, what could be better? And it was nice, but for how long? Those He-Man action figures were fascinating for a while, but the imagination only goes so far. The years pass, the action figures get sold or handed down, and it's on to the next thing. And as an adult? The time spent with family seems so much more important than whatever someone bought.


So if material things aren't the key to happiness, what then? Friends, loved ones, and family come to mind. Feeling like part of a family or a circle of friends can provide fuel, but that's still relying on other people. How does a person build happiness for him/herself? 


My thought: I don't think it is done alone. I think a person needs love and faith and connection to make his/her inner voice one to rely on. What you hear from others feeds your inner monologue, and that's why it's so important to realize that kindness is so important for the world. Spread the word of love and patience and encouragement. Make other people in your life feel valued, so that they realize that whatever they're about to face is doable and attainable. Put a hand on their back when they don't understand. Realize that it's human not to get everything the first time.


There's so much ugliness out in the world. More than ever, people (and especially children) need to know that there's love and not just division. More than ever, people need to step away from the devices that bring them that other world, where trolls seek to jump on anyone with whom they disagree.


Happiness is fragile. Make sure kindness is out there to protect it.

Infinite

Our living room
It was not
Until you came around


Countless nights
In front of screen
But no motion


Now
Crawling, shrieking, laughing, climbing
Screen still on but not the focus


Paradox
At home, you seem so dominant
Outside, so fragile


Sleep
Once precarious
Now more steady
Once afterthought
Now much appreciated


Free time
Before was mindless
Now recharging


Love
Everything is about this
Everything is done with this
True when we were two
Infinitely more so now








 

Zen and The Art of Blogging

I just started reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. In the opening chapters, author Robert Pirsig expresses his belief that motorcycling is much better than driving a car because the shell separating the rider from nature is removed. You're in the elements, and what seems like boring farmland or plains becomes more immediate because of the feeling of the wind at your back. 

Pirsig also reflects on the difference between doing work yourself versus having work done.  He had an experience where he went to a service shop and the mechanics butchered what should have been a simple procedure.  He felt that it was because the mechanic had something separating him and the bike he was working on, as it was just another job to him.  Pirsig began taking care of his own motorcycle, and as a result he could always tell when something wasn't right, whereas his friend left it up to chance even on a long trip, having faith that his mechanic did everything correctly.

I know it's not exactly along the same lines, but I want to go down a road of my own here. I consume so much media on a daily basis. I'm a podcast junkie. I love movie review podcasts, news podcasts, sports podcasts.  I think podcasts are a brilliant way to get information. I also devour information on news and entertainment sites. I'm also an avid reader.  My parents started me early, and I tend to feel a little itchy if I don't have a book going, even if I don't get to read as much as I used to.

The point is, I consume. I have subscriptions to podcasts (which mostly don't cost anything), streaming TV networks (which certainly do) and streaming music (also a monthly fee). I fill my head with a lot of other people's thoughts. I like hearing their points of view, but what about mine? I've done reviews on this blog, but they're usually a paragraph at most, and they don't really tell you a lot about me. They tell you if I liked something or I didn't.

I'm not making a resolution to write weekly or monthly.  What I write may not even appear on this blog, but it's time to stop consuming and breathing all these things in without exhaling and releasing some of my own thoughts into the world.